I’ve never been especially convinced by the concept of sex addiction and this short article by Dr Marty Klein does a superb job of knocking the concept down. What I located especially fascinating was the hyperlink he offered to a sexual addiction test. In just several minutes it is possible to allegedly uncover out if you are a sex addict. Sex toys glass dildos are glass sex toys made by craftsmen with innovative design.
I took the test, answered honestly, and discovered that I was in fact a sex addict. Shocked by that result I took it again, answered equally honestly, and found that I was not a sex addict. This seemed to recommend the survey methodology could be a touch flawed. The problem is definitely the ambiguity with the inquiries. Two unique but valid interpretations can give two diverse but valid answers. For example G spot stimulator.
Are any of your activities against the law?
Effectively it depends what US state I’m in, but if I’m carrying out it suitable, yes.
Have you ever felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
Personally I think it’s hot when a domme pees in my mouth, but it is a superb kind of degradation. Does that count?
Do you hide a number of your sexual behaviors from others?
I have to become honest. I haven’t told 100% of my good friends about my adore of electrified butt plugs.
Do you invest a considerable time surfing pornography on the net?
Effectively this blog isn’t going to write itself. But it is purely for research purposes. Truthful.
and so forth. and so forth.
Oddly 1 from the inquiries asks if you on a regular basis engage in sadomasochistic behavior. So presumably that is some kind of indicator. Maybe my initial survey result was correct just after all. And judging by his expression, the gentleman under may be in danger of creating my addiction at the same time. That young lady is clearly a hazardous sex dealer.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
This Earth Day, Get Turned-on
Spring Fever Goes Eco-friendly with Superior Vibrations’ Ecorotic? Sustainable Sex Toys for Grown-Ups.Carry Sustainability to your Bedroom with Good Vibrators’ Ecorotic? Ranking System.
You recycle, buy organic develop, and possess power successful appliances, so why quit in relation to greening your bedroom? Superior Vibrations, the reliable San Francisco-based company that usually takes pride in offering correct details on sexuality and toys for grown-ups, invitations you to definitely impact radical modify in the bedroom with sustainable sexual intercourse. The ecorotic? rating program helps make selecting your future favourite vibe less difficult than ever.
This Spring, when frisky fever strikes, decide on sensual merchandise that truly feel superior which you may come to feel good about. Great Vibrations’ earth-friendly ecorotic? collection delivers all-natural and organic and natural goods, and also for a longer period long lasting things that have much less environmental impact, these as toys produced from outstanding materials and rechargeable vibes. The ranking process breaks down the types of great importance and simplifies your decisions.
Ecorotic? Scores
Body-safe - Sex toys are made from many distinct elements, with varying quantities of knowledge available about them, and several haven't been analyzed for basic safety. We constantly pick better-quality products, and we give distinctive attention to individuals we all know for being safer.
Animal product-free - You will be astonished at the number of products have animal goods. You are able to ensure that objects that get paid this leaf are not manufactured with any.
Rechargeable - Toys which will be recharged decrease the amount of batteries that conclusion up in landfill. We also really encourage you to definitely use rechargeable batteries in the event your favored vibrator operates working with disposables.
Normal ingredients - A lot more products and solutions, specifically lubricants, are being produced from purely natural components. Much less processing and much less artificial products implies much more ecorotic?.
Recyclable Packaging/Materials - If the bundle and/or content on your toy is usually recycled, you are able to decrease the impact of one's purchase on the atmosphere.
Created while in the United states - Numerous sex toy and products and solutions are made abroad. Selecting a person which is made and assembled while in the U.s. minimizes delivery and it has a decrease carbon footprint.
Dr. Carol Queen, Great Vibrations’ staff members Sexologist and firm spokesperson clarifies the importance of greening the bed room, “Sex is part of our life, so any concern that worries us away from the bedroom has implications within it: if we recycle, purchase neighborhood develop, look at our carbon use, and feel ecologically in other techniques, it is smart to carry out the identical once we make sexual possibilities. Our wellbeing which of your earth are related, so take into account in which you can go ecorotic?!”
Given that the unique clean-well-lighted spot for vibrators, Great Vibrations led just how toward safer, much more sustainable adult toys. In 2001, Very good Vibrations was the initial corporation from the US to study the difficulty of things made up of phthalates (the chemical softeners that elevated concerns about toxicity in plastics) and appear for safer solutions. In 2007, Excellent Vibrations became the very first multi-channel retail business to discontinue these goods and we encouraged our manufacturers to complete the exact same.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Getting the Snip, Element 1
This series of articles will depth the practical experience of acquiring a vasectomy. In this particular part, I explore how my boyfriend and i made the decision that vasectomy was the right form of contraception for us. The following portion will protect his expertise on the course of action by itself, and afterwards I will publish regarding how the course of action is impacting our relationship and our intercourse life. Whether you want discreet Male Masturbators you can hide around the house or a stoker that won't break your wallet, the Man masturbating toy is the perfect sex toy for you.
About Surgical Sterilization
I'm forty-two years previous. I have not been equipped to utilize hormonal start regulate for years for the reason that it triggers migraines. I attempted the IUD, but my system wouldn't adapt to it and that i experienced to have it taken off. My remaining contraception options ended up barrier procedures (i.e. diaphragm, cervical cap, or condoms) or surgical sterilization.
Surgical sterilization for females is known as tubal ligation. Most commonly, the affected individual is place beneath typical anesthesia. Two incisions are made, through which the surgeon will accessibility just about every with the fallopian tubes. The tubes will likely be reduce and sealed, either by burning or by making use of clips. A further system should be to access the tubes with the vagina and cervix, and insert implants which will induce scar tissue to build all over them and block the tubes. The client is taken into account sterile soon after her following menstrual time period.
For males, the procedure known as vasectomy. Less than nearby anesthesia, two modest incisions are going to be produced from the scrotum and the surgeon pulls out a loop of vas deferens. Each and every tube will likely be slash and sealed by having an electrical instrument, or alternatively a small area is going to be eliminated and also the slash ends tied shut. The process can take about an hour, plus the affected individual can go home at once. He is regarded as sterile soon after two successive unfavorable sperm counts, about a thirty day period aside. This normally requires 20-25 ejaculations to distinct his program of all lively sperm.
With possibly form of surgical sterilization, the objective will be to place up a roadblock that retains sperm and egg from reaching each other. Though it is feasible to aim reversal, within the circumstance of regrets, it is actually probable to generally be unsuccessful. Obtaining surgically sterilized need to be considered long lasting.
As with all surgeries you can find dangers of troubles, although the dangers are increased for female sterilization. The fallopian tubes are deeper in the body, that makes the surgical procedure additional invasive. Both equally approaches have the risk of failure (0.3% for males and 0.5% for girls), the place the slash ends in the tubes come across each other and recover. Both failure could end result in an unplanned pregnancy, but if it is a failure during the female's physique, then there's an increased prospect which the pregnancy will be ectopic - a situation that may be everyday living threatening for your expecting girl. There exists a pretty minimal probability that this would materialize, but it really needs to be section of your thought every time a few is considering surgical sterilization.
Producing the choice
As being a couple, we regarded it together. And getting thought of it together, we made a decision to look at it independently. We needed to make the choice that was appropriate for us, but we also essential the choice for being completely acceptable to whichever of us was owning surgical treatment. We agreed that neither of us would put strain within the other being the 1 who was sterilized. We the two believe someone should have complete and totally free choice about their own individual reproductive procedure, irrespective of whether that man or woman is male or woman.
I made my selection to start with, and my conclusion was no. The sole exception is the fact that if I at any time desired operation for some other cause and it had been feasible to tack over a tubal ligation concurrently, then I'd personally get it done.
The boyfriend took more time to help make his determination. He was not organized to state yes, but he did not rule it out. When we went from a long-distance romance to stay in lovers, the amplified frequency of intercourse (and thus of condom use) looked as if it would help him make the choice. We had gotten to your place wherever we ended up obtaining anal sex extra often than vaginal merely to stay away from being forced to use condoms. Last but not least he advised me he was going to do it.
We are living in the united kingdom, so everything goes in the Nationwide Well being Provider (NHS). He spoke to his GP, who made a referral. They sent him some paperwork conveying almost everything he'd by now discovered by carrying out his very own research, and phoned him to make an appointment. The NHS is infamous for very long hold out occasions, but in cases like this from your time of his initial speaking on the GP to his appointment day was just over six months.
His vasectomy appointment is in two months. There is a generous offer of condoms in the drawer of your nightstand. I think we cannot really need to invest in anymore, and that is a nice thought.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Becoming More Proactive In Healthcare
Birth control is a personal choice, but how can we, as women, make the right choices for ourselves when vital information is kept far out of our reach and, when most of the time, we don't even know to go looking for it until Ben Wah Balls goes wrong? Thanks to the internet and some digging, we can learn to be more proactive in our own healthcare choices.
Hitachi Wand are used to stimulate female clit or inside or vagina.
Learning To Be My Own Health Advocate
Not long ago, we had to take one of our cats to the vet (due to behavioral problems), and while I was there I asked a million questions, the type of questions you normally ask when it comes to the health of a pet and you are treading unknown waters. It wasn’t until a few days later that I started to realize that, when it comes to my own health and concerns, I am nowhere near as diligent. I ask a few questions and then trust the doctor's judgment, and I’m not the only one. It is almost like the relationship I had with my parents when I was very young, ask a few questions but trust absolutely. Even when I hear news about all the malpractice lawsuits, and watch Discovery shows about medical procedures going horribly wrong, it never really registers to me that those types of things could happen to just about anyone, they could even happen to me. It really does amaze me that I am so knowledgeable in what can happen, and still I am not as proactive in my own health as I should be. Recently I paid the price for this, luckily it was only a very small price, it could've been a lot bigger, and in the end I came out with my eyes wide open and a promise to never again trust so blindly after not doing my own research.
A little over six months ago, I made an appointment to change my birth control from the pill to whatever non-hormonal options I had left. I was on the pill for about a year and was unhappy with the weight gain and the interaction it was having with another medication I was on (even at its lowest dose). I did a small bit of research on my own and decided that, if it was an option, I would like to try a copper IUD. Really I should have looked deeper, but once I brought the idea up to my doctor she ran through most of the stuff I had already read on the ParaGard website and added how it was a really good choice for the non-hormonal option and how safe it was (given I didn't have a copper allergy), and that they were even doing tests showing that someday soon it could be used for up to 20 years. Fertility also comes back right away so whenever I get to the point that I want to start a family, I could. You are even warned to not have sex five days before having the ParaGard inserted, or removed. Anyway, the gynecologist pretty much gave it a five star review and I was sold. There were no pills to take, no silicone domes to worry about, and no more condoms.
The experience, of having the IUD placed, was unenjoyable but that was to be expected. They do warn about a bit of discomfort, though discomfort doesn't really cover the feeling. Lately I've read some people describing the pain almost as prelabor pain. Knowing that sooner would’ve been nice, but I don’t imagine it would’ve made much a difference to my pain level. The pain lingered for about four or five days before my body regulated itself again. I had about two months of heavy periods and a bit more pain than normal. Around month three, I started to have break though bleeding, which then turned into a full on period that lasted about three months, with only a few days in between without bleeding. It was almost always fresh blood, and I was told that a three times a day Ibuprofen regimen would take care of it and the pain eventually. Eventually never came and, sadly, that is when I started to question just what exactly I had done to myself, and really look into what I had inside me.
I found forums upon forums of females experiencing the same symptoms I was experiencing, and we all had one basic thing in common- ParaGard. Now, I am not going to say it caused everything directly but its malfunctioning, coupled with the stress of that, caused most of the physical and all of the emotional issues. I was lucky, it didn't embed itself, I didn't have to have surgery to remove it, and, once it was out, the pain and bleeding stopped. I am far from back to normal though and, even though it’s been out for two months, I have yet to have a normal menstrual cycle. The thing that really angers me is that some of the warnings and material used in making the ParaGard were very much unlisted in the reading material, and packaging from the company itself, and was not even mentioned by my doctor (assuming she even knew about the missing information). I had to dig and eventually call and talk with a paid representative, once I knew the exact questions to ask (like a secret handshake or code word). The copper wire that is what makes the ParaGard work as non-hormonal birth control, isn't pure copper, there is nickel in it, which is kind of a big deal.
All I was asked before insertion was, 'did I have a copper allergy/sensitivity?' nothing was ever asked about nickel. The only reason I knew to ask about it to a representative, was because a few forum posts mentioned this and how it’s not talked about at all and I really felt like it couldn't be true. Something that important (a breakdown of what is in something that is going to be residing inside you shouldn't be kept secretive, in such a way) would be written in letters easy to find. But it wasn't and I am supper disappointed, not only in ParaGard but also the gynecologist that gave ParaGard a five star review. How hard is it to put in a warning about the product containing trace amounts of nickel, if a type food is even made in the same manufacturing plant as another type that contains peanuts, there is at least one warning label slapped onto it, why can't it be the same in the medical world.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying boycott IUD's all together. I can understand that, for some women, they are sometimes the only option that works. There are tons of women out there that have no problem during their 5 to 10 years with their IUD's and that is great. All I am saying is that we, as women, need to take charge of our own sexual health and not just trust that the pharmaceutical, manufacturing companies, and doctors have our best interest in mind, or are even all that informed on the product they are trying to sell you on. Take charge and dig deeper, make sure all your concerns are addressed, and if they are not all addressed in one place, go that further distance to collect the information from everywhere until you are personally satisfied that you know what you are putting into or having put into your body. I sure wish I did then, and I know I definitely am informed now. I learned my lesson, so please learn from me.
Hitachi Wand are used to stimulate female clit or inside or vagina.
Learning To Be My Own Health Advocate
Not long ago, we had to take one of our cats to the vet (due to behavioral problems), and while I was there I asked a million questions, the type of questions you normally ask when it comes to the health of a pet and you are treading unknown waters. It wasn’t until a few days later that I started to realize that, when it comes to my own health and concerns, I am nowhere near as diligent. I ask a few questions and then trust the doctor's judgment, and I’m not the only one. It is almost like the relationship I had with my parents when I was very young, ask a few questions but trust absolutely. Even when I hear news about all the malpractice lawsuits, and watch Discovery shows about medical procedures going horribly wrong, it never really registers to me that those types of things could happen to just about anyone, they could even happen to me. It really does amaze me that I am so knowledgeable in what can happen, and still I am not as proactive in my own health as I should be. Recently I paid the price for this, luckily it was only a very small price, it could've been a lot bigger, and in the end I came out with my eyes wide open and a promise to never again trust so blindly after not doing my own research.
A little over six months ago, I made an appointment to change my birth control from the pill to whatever non-hormonal options I had left. I was on the pill for about a year and was unhappy with the weight gain and the interaction it was having with another medication I was on (even at its lowest dose). I did a small bit of research on my own and decided that, if it was an option, I would like to try a copper IUD. Really I should have looked deeper, but once I brought the idea up to my doctor she ran through most of the stuff I had already read on the ParaGard website and added how it was a really good choice for the non-hormonal option and how safe it was (given I didn't have a copper allergy), and that they were even doing tests showing that someday soon it could be used for up to 20 years. Fertility also comes back right away so whenever I get to the point that I want to start a family, I could. You are even warned to not have sex five days before having the ParaGard inserted, or removed. Anyway, the gynecologist pretty much gave it a five star review and I was sold. There were no pills to take, no silicone domes to worry about, and no more condoms.
The experience, of having the IUD placed, was unenjoyable but that was to be expected. They do warn about a bit of discomfort, though discomfort doesn't really cover the feeling. Lately I've read some people describing the pain almost as prelabor pain. Knowing that sooner would’ve been nice, but I don’t imagine it would’ve made much a difference to my pain level. The pain lingered for about four or five days before my body regulated itself again. I had about two months of heavy periods and a bit more pain than normal. Around month three, I started to have break though bleeding, which then turned into a full on period that lasted about three months, with only a few days in between without bleeding. It was almost always fresh blood, and I was told that a three times a day Ibuprofen regimen would take care of it and the pain eventually. Eventually never came and, sadly, that is when I started to question just what exactly I had done to myself, and really look into what I had inside me.
I found forums upon forums of females experiencing the same symptoms I was experiencing, and we all had one basic thing in common- ParaGard. Now, I am not going to say it caused everything directly but its malfunctioning, coupled with the stress of that, caused most of the physical and all of the emotional issues. I was lucky, it didn't embed itself, I didn't have to have surgery to remove it, and, once it was out, the pain and bleeding stopped. I am far from back to normal though and, even though it’s been out for two months, I have yet to have a normal menstrual cycle. The thing that really angers me is that some of the warnings and material used in making the ParaGard were very much unlisted in the reading material, and packaging from the company itself, and was not even mentioned by my doctor (assuming she even knew about the missing information). I had to dig and eventually call and talk with a paid representative, once I knew the exact questions to ask (like a secret handshake or code word). The copper wire that is what makes the ParaGard work as non-hormonal birth control, isn't pure copper, there is nickel in it, which is kind of a big deal.
All I was asked before insertion was, 'did I have a copper allergy/sensitivity?' nothing was ever asked about nickel. The only reason I knew to ask about it to a representative, was because a few forum posts mentioned this and how it’s not talked about at all and I really felt like it couldn't be true. Something that important (a breakdown of what is in something that is going to be residing inside you shouldn't be kept secretive, in such a way) would be written in letters easy to find. But it wasn't and I am supper disappointed, not only in ParaGard but also the gynecologist that gave ParaGard a five star review. How hard is it to put in a warning about the product containing trace amounts of nickel, if a type food is even made in the same manufacturing plant as another type that contains peanuts, there is at least one warning label slapped onto it, why can't it be the same in the medical world.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying boycott IUD's all together. I can understand that, for some women, they are sometimes the only option that works. There are tons of women out there that have no problem during their 5 to 10 years with their IUD's and that is great. All I am saying is that we, as women, need to take charge of our own sexual health and not just trust that the pharmaceutical, manufacturing companies, and doctors have our best interest in mind, or are even all that informed on the product they are trying to sell you on. Take charge and dig deeper, make sure all your concerns are addressed, and if they are not all addressed in one place, go that further distance to collect the information from everywhere until you are personally satisfied that you know what you are putting into or having put into your body. I sure wish I did then, and I know I definitely am informed now. I learned my lesson, so please learn from me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Choosing The Right Dildo Material Metal, Glass, Acrylic
There are several materials that are used to make what we call hard dildos. The materials used are mainly metal dildos, glass dildos and acrylic/plastic dildos. They are generally at the higher end of the market as regards to price. The reason being is that they are often made by artisans rather than mass produced in a factory.
These dildos really do have a following among women because of the feel and firmness of them. They do not give or bend and therefore when used in the right manner offer an intense stimulation and are great for G-spot stimulation (it is a great way to achieve an unbelievable orgasm) or when used for penetration putting pressure on an internal point that a woman find pleasurable.
A hard dildo though is not for everyone because it maybe too intense with the dildo not having any give, I would not recommend this type of dildo for someone new to sex toy use. It would be something that could be experimented with after using a jelly rubber dildo first. The price also makes these dildos appropriate for a more advanced user.
Theses hard dildos are not recommended for use in a harness and should be handled carefully because glass and acrylic sex toys can break when dropped onto a hard surface.
When it comes to lubricants for glass, metal and plastic dildos you can use water or silicone based lubricants, although you may find that silicone lubricants don always adhere to the toy and the water based lubricant easier to use.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Agency is Agency, No Matter What It Wears
At The American Prospect E.J, Graff has a thought-provoking piece on rape culture in the US and abroad. If Americans are tempted to view the horrific torture, rape, and murder of a New Delhi woman as evidence that rape culture is endemic only to foreign societies, they’re wrong; in Graff’s words, rape culture “lives anywhere that has a ‘traditional’ vision of women’s sexuality.” This, of course, includes the US, where slut-shaming is epidemic, politicians restrict their sympathy for survivors of “legitimate” rape, and all too many people continue to blame rape survivors for being the victim of crimes.
Graff makes her argument in graphic detail, and her piece is well worth reading. However, one troubling line jumps out:
“A culture in which women must cover up or be threatened is a rape culture. You’re thinking of hijab and burquas, right? Think also of the now well-known SlutWalks, which were launched after a Toronto police officer told young women that they could avoid rape by not dressing like ‘sluts.’”
Graff’s point is that the coerced covering of female bodies in the West is just as indicative of rape culture as in the Muslim world. The reference to hijabs and burquas is evoked to emphasize this point: if Canadian police telling women not to dress like “sluts” is comparable to Muslim head and body coverings it must be oppressive, because the veil is a perfect synonym for patriarchy. Here the Muslim world is the alien other, identified only by definitional oppression. There’s the threat — if we, the West, don’t change our ways we’ll be like them.
This is a troublingly Orientalist view of the female experience in the Muslim world. This isn’t to say that Muslim societies are not crippled by widespread misogyny and sexual violence; they clearly are, and the costs of patriarchy are arguably higher in these societies than anywhere else. This also doesn’t suggest that hijabs and other female religious garments are not a product of patriarchy. In an alternative reality where Islam — and of course Christianity — arose in egalitarian, rather than patriarchal, societies, it’s difficult to believe that these religious traditions would stress concealing clothing for women and not men. But assuming that the veil always represents a denial of female freedom is a condescending and simplistic dismissal of a complex tradition, and denies agency to the millions of Muslim women who chose to wear the garment.
Artist unknown; please contact me if you know.
Artist unknown; please contact me if you know.
Are many women forced to wear clothing they otherwise would not, on the justification of religious tradition? Of course. But assuming that all women wear the hijab because they are forced to compresses millions of Muslim women’s varied experiences into a single condemnation of their culture. In this view, Western women’s choices are valid, while Muslim women’s are not. It is difficult to imagine a more condescending narrative, because this story of oppressed, subservient Muslim women denies them the agency to choose. Reza Aslan ably explains this distinction in his history of Islam, No god but God:
‘The fact is that the traditional colonial image of the veiled Muslim woman as the sheltered, docile sexual property of her husband is just as misleading and simpleminded as the postmodernist image of the veil as the emblem of female freedom and empowerment from Western cultural hegemony. The veil may be neither or both of these things, but that is up to Muslim women to decide for themselves. [p. 73]“
To Westerners, the narrative of the veil as a tool of oppression is both satisfying and comforting: satisfying because it reaffirms the West’s cultural superiority, and comforting because it simplifies a bewildering variety of religious and cultural traditions into a simple narrative of backwardness. Again, this does not mean that patriarchy is absent from the practice — as Aslan notes, reading the veil as empowering freedom from the male gaze is just as simplistic as understanding it solely as patriarchal barbarism. But lumping all women who wear the veil into the category of pitied victims reflects an inherent narrative of cultural superiority. It is up to individual Muslim women, not non-Muslim observers, to decide whether the practice is oppressive. The veil is not incompatible with feminism; only the lack of female agency is.
Graff makes her argument in graphic detail, and her piece is well worth reading. However, one troubling line jumps out:
“A culture in which women must cover up or be threatened is a rape culture. You’re thinking of hijab and burquas, right? Think also of the now well-known SlutWalks, which were launched after a Toronto police officer told young women that they could avoid rape by not dressing like ‘sluts.’”
Graff’s point is that the coerced covering of female bodies in the West is just as indicative of rape culture as in the Muslim world. The reference to hijabs and burquas is evoked to emphasize this point: if Canadian police telling women not to dress like “sluts” is comparable to Muslim head and body coverings it must be oppressive, because the veil is a perfect synonym for patriarchy. Here the Muslim world is the alien other, identified only by definitional oppression. There’s the threat — if we, the West, don’t change our ways we’ll be like them.
This is a troublingly Orientalist view of the female experience in the Muslim world. This isn’t to say that Muslim societies are not crippled by widespread misogyny and sexual violence; they clearly are, and the costs of patriarchy are arguably higher in these societies than anywhere else. This also doesn’t suggest that hijabs and other female religious garments are not a product of patriarchy. In an alternative reality where Islam — and of course Christianity — arose in egalitarian, rather than patriarchal, societies, it’s difficult to believe that these religious traditions would stress concealing clothing for women and not men. But assuming that the veil always represents a denial of female freedom is a condescending and simplistic dismissal of a complex tradition, and denies agency to the millions of Muslim women who chose to wear the garment.
Artist unknown; please contact me if you know.
Artist unknown; please contact me if you know.
Are many women forced to wear clothing they otherwise would not, on the justification of religious tradition? Of course. But assuming that all women wear the hijab because they are forced to compresses millions of Muslim women’s varied experiences into a single condemnation of their culture. In this view, Western women’s choices are valid, while Muslim women’s are not. It is difficult to imagine a more condescending narrative, because this story of oppressed, subservient Muslim women denies them the agency to choose. Reza Aslan ably explains this distinction in his history of Islam, No god but God:
‘The fact is that the traditional colonial image of the veiled Muslim woman as the sheltered, docile sexual property of her husband is just as misleading and simpleminded as the postmodernist image of the veil as the emblem of female freedom and empowerment from Western cultural hegemony. The veil may be neither or both of these things, but that is up to Muslim women to decide for themselves. [p. 73]“
To Westerners, the narrative of the veil as a tool of oppression is both satisfying and comforting: satisfying because it reaffirms the West’s cultural superiority, and comforting because it simplifies a bewildering variety of religious and cultural traditions into a simple narrative of backwardness. Again, this does not mean that patriarchy is absent from the practice — as Aslan notes, reading the veil as empowering freedom from the male gaze is just as simplistic as understanding it solely as patriarchal barbarism. But lumping all women who wear the veil into the category of pitied victims reflects an inherent narrative of cultural superiority. It is up to individual Muslim women, not non-Muslim observers, to decide whether the practice is oppressive. The veil is not incompatible with feminism; only the lack of female agency is.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
5 Romantic Room Decoration Ideas
Romance is important whether you’re a bachelor or you’re married and your bedroom is the most important place in the home. This is where all the lovemaking happens, and this is where you make up with your partner after a day of not talking to each other. Every culture in the world has a term for a man who was forced to stay out of the bedroom because of some major transgression, or because his wife is too mad at him to spend the night in bed together.Create Enough Floor Space
A romantic bedroom is not cramped, so you need to free up the floor and clear the clutter. Sometimes, you’re so in the mood that you never reach the bed. Therefore, your bedroom floor must be impeccably maintained all the time. Some giant floor pillows may be parked in the corner for when you’re in the mood to have sex on the floor.
Aromatherapy
Burning aromatherapy oils is one of the easiest ways to set the mood. Go for lilac, sandalwood, ylang-ylang or other tropical scents that remind you of the beach or a mountain resort. Whether you use oils or wax is up to you, but in my opinion, a small burner with enough oil is easier to maintain and snuff out than a few dozen scented candles. A candle-lit room is definitely romantic, but you don’t want to be running around naked and carrying a fire extinguisher if the curtains catch fire.
Heavy Drapes and Thicker Walls
The room you’re doing it in needs to be fortified with thicker walls if you cannot afford to make it soundproof. Choose multi-layer drapes in a color that complements the walls. If your walls are white, go for darker-colored drapes.
Heavy drapes will keep your dirty talk from reaching your neighbors’ ears, which is something that a flimsy set of Venetian blinds can’t do. Someone shouting ‘keep it down, will you’ from across the street can be a real mood killer, especially when you’re so into the lovemaking, which is why you need to protect your intimate moments with drapes.
Slipcovers for the Chaise Lounge
Use durable, waterproof slipcovers for the sofa inside your bedroom. Why? So that you can do it there without worrying about stains. No matter how careful you are, you are likely to leave stains on furniture in the heat of the moment, that’s why it’s better to protect your couch or love seat using slipcovers. It’s embarrassing to have to explain a mean-looking stain to the one doing your upholstery work. Slipcovers are inexpensive and they can help keep your sex spontaneous.
Paint The Ceiling
If you spend a lot of time in bed with your partner, the ceiling can become one of the most familiar sights to you. A good-looking ceiling is something to stare at while you’re in the throes of lovemaking. If your partner is doing all the work for you and you’re lying flat on your back, you cannot help but glance at your bedroom ceiling. If you see some cracks or peeling plaster on the ceiling, your mood sours a little.
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